I'm currently working on William Inge's Splendor in the Grass. I am Ginny Stamper. This morning rehearsal was incredibly rewarding and wild. I had a blast. I'm also looking at the curriculum for Spring term and feeling much better about the registration process this time around. I will be taking:

Theatre and Arts for Peace and Reconciliation
Adaptation II
and hopefully, two of the following:
Reading and Writing Poetry
American Theatre Now
Developmental Psychology after the Theories
Reading the Body

I struggled a great deal this morning with my body. I was moving a lot, working on a drunken fast-paced, accelerated version of The Charleston, and it hit me how insecure I still feel, after all this time, about my body. I was going to town in heels like a crazy woman and the only things I could think about were breathing and how fat I must be to other people around me. Even so, though, the lace black slip I was wearing (along with the heels) helped me to justify the actions of my character and helped me to forget about my own insecurities and body for awhile. It was nice. I like being able to forget how ugly I feel most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I don't think actors should use acting as some coping mechanism for a problem in their life, but the fact is: sometimes a girl's just gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

The day's events, event, what it was.

8:54, just breathed out at the end of Studio 4 monologue performance.

Studio 4 is incredible. I survived the conditioning class today. At one point the instructor asked us to perform a stretch for our back in which we eventually wind up with our toes touching the floor behind our heads and our faces directly in between our legs.

My body does not do this properly, it will not even consider it.

I have to read 40 pages tonight. Ms.Hepburn and I plan on reading it to each other aloud.

I will write more soon, I will not be neglecting this space. I may be incredibly boring with the events in my life right now because for awhile at least, I will be busy to the point of exhaustion busy and will be functioning on 3 to 4 hours of sleep, and rubbery eggs.

and a note for the evening: eating disorders never leave.

love, jessieh