Artconstellation

You need to visit one of the best blogs in the world.

http://www.artconstellation.blogspot.com

because the writer is of more than super-hero status and we love her.

love, jessieh

A must see movie. Juno.

I don't advertise things unless I really really really appreciate them. Go see this movie.

love, jessieh

One of the most beautiful girls in the world (see left again)

"and there are stars, shining stars that light up the sky above our heads somewhere I do not remember ever returning to or leaving from." -A.W. Braunwin

love, jessieh

46 things to be said. (Focus. Non-Sense.)

The Good and Bad

1. Jesus loves everyone.

2. I am in Columbia now. Away from school and while the break is refreshing, I see time as a big thing that frightens me. I don't know what to do with myself. I am still so tired and I find it hard to sit still.

3. I miss my roommate, Sam.

4. Patrick is coming to visit the family January 3-5. Granny is going to make him chicken and cheese croissants with cream and chicken soup. He will enjoy it, I'm sure.

5. Tonight, we are attending a Christmas festivity at my uncles house.

6. I wish I could attend church tonight with the twins but my guilt over not being at my uncle's house and the attitudes of accusing selfishness would be too bothersome. I surrender.

7. I spent last night with my twins and it was incredible. The eyes were holding tears back. I will spend Christmas day with them which is exciting.

8. Anxiety plagues me.

9. Star Dust is a fun movie.

10. I'd like to sleep for a long long long long time but feel unable.

11. Christmas hurts.

12. Jenny, I love you.

13. I am so blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.

14. Lucy, oh Lucy? Where art thou angel of Chicora Lucy?

15. My stomach hurts and I feel fat. Obese, really.

16. There is a sadness here, in this list.

17. I'd like to burn the fiberoptic Christmas Tree in my grandmother's living room.

18. She has wooden floors now.

19. We draw a lot.

20. Evaluations went well at school. They didn't make me cry until the very end and the tears were happy tears.

21. The combination of relatively high-IQ, high levels of emotional sensitivity, being aware, and a history of chronic sexual abuse, rape = a young woman in need of a low quantity of Prozac and some sleeping pills.

22. Reading the book, The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. I've been crying since page seven.

23. I have yet to purchase Christmas gifts for anyone other than my Acting Instructors.

24. Someone said a broken heart would sting at first then make you stronger- whoever said that, they lied. It isn't the brokenness that makes you strong, it is the sting.

25. You need to visit Dooce.com.

26. Sharon Olds' poetry soothes the heart and reassures the brain.

27. My grandfather hasn't spoken to me in two weeks.

28. Thank you Vivian, Diane, S., Jenny, Angela, Brenda, K.F. and Amy. I love you.

29. Thank you Taylor, Savannah, Jordan, and Jordan. I love you.

30. Thank you Mere and Sigmund. I love you.

31. "Live or die but don't ruin everything." -Anne Sexton

32. I wish you well on the way to the wishing well.

33. The stomach hurts.

34. Never refuse homemade lemonade.

35. Donate a coat this season.

36. If you need a calender, please purchase this one: The Artconstellation Calendar

37. "May you dream you are dreaming in a warm soft bed, and may the voices inside you that fill you with dread make the sound of thousands of angels instead, tonight where you might be laying your head..." -Patty Griffin

38. We are tired. The image at the top of the page is a Mark Manders drawing and at the bottom a photograph by Chpaquette.

39. I have 9 missed calls on my cell phone.

40. Ms. Hepburn, we love you.

41. Yard Guy called yesterday and asked if I would spend time with him today, I said yes. He said he would call. He never did. I have been stood-up for the past 13 years of my life. That's disgusting.

42. I want to attend Julliard or Wellesley College.

43. I have yet to take the SAT.

44. The events from that night have no chronological order.

45. Merry Christmas.

46. Happy Holidays.

love, jessieh

Fairytales for Children (well sort of)

Is fairytale a compound? Is compound even a word? Everything today and tomorrow and yesterday is feeling the way it feels when I literally grab a place on the ceiling to stare at and chant, "this is not happening" over and over again until whatever it is that is not happening ends. So much so that when I typed tomorrow, I was thinking of yesterday and when I typed yesterday I was thinking of tomorrow. I am tired. Exhausted, frankly and I feel like I have my monologues memorized, but not worked. When I work them, they feel as if they have already been worked and worked and don't want to be worked anymore. I am thanking God for everything wonderful that is happening. I am thanking God for everything not wonderful that is happening. I thank God for both the good and the awful of wonderful, and trust us, there are both goods and awfuls of wonderful. No one is answering the telephone. No one I am calling is answering their phones. I need you to answer your phone. Are you alive? The feet hurt except they don't belong so they can't hurt, but they do. I, plural, am a contradiction. Barnes and Noble doesn't sale Old's The Gold Cell. Bah, so guess what we do? We buy Sexton, because that's more than healthy and everything. Had that dream again last night. The one we had all week in the pink bedroom. Do you understand the process of being baptized? Yes. Yes. I do. And in Target we bump into three other students, if you count Ms.Hepburn who we didn't bump into. And I think: Where is the poetry? What are we, singular, doing? At the bank the woman asked, "So what are you? A dancer? An Artist?" and you choked and said, "Oh. I'm an actress." and it feels like Latin or something foreign on the tongue near saying, "Oh. I'm Female." or "I'm Caucasian" without the capitol letters. Vivian's husband joked about Twinkle Toes and we could have laughed too. It was a wonderful time of prayer and in the end everything was said to begin with.

love, we the people

"And I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God: for they shall return unto me with their whole heart. "

-Jeremiah 24:7

PS: Thank you Meriluni

From the Trip

love, jessieh