and for all the wrong reasons.
There have been many opportunities in my life for me to feel lower than a dog.
Right now though,
I am the angriest I have been in quite some time.
I am angry at the psychosis of the family I was born into.
and even Freud couldn't fix it.
the more than angry, but can't find a better word,
jessieh
PS: and sometimes I wonder why I even care about people to begin with, why I love. I just can't help myself. Or maybe I somehow like the idea of self-punishment. That must be it. I like feeling like crap. Exactly.
I can't think I'm so mad and I don't want to stop writing because I don't know what my other choices of coping mechanisms are right at the moment because I am not being rational and logical and
the end has to come somewhere.
off to the bathroom. to lock myself in it to think.
(no positive connotation implied)
