RAINNmaking: Fundraising for RAINN

RAINN offers free, confidental support twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Their phone number is 1-800-656-HOPE and their online hotline can be reached at www.rainn.org.

Sam and I are becoming RAINNmakers. We are wanting to raise money for the Rape, Abuse, and Incest, National Network as part of our Humanties' project. we are writing, directing, and producing a performance piece for the spring of 2009 that addresses the issues of sexual violence on a local, national, and global level as the main focus of our Humanities’ project.

As part of our efforts to raise awareness of these crimes and their direct impact on the everyday lives of women, children and men everywhere we are hoping to raise money for RAINN, the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization.

We believe that getting help is the single most critical step a victim of sexual violence can take on the path to becoming a survivor. It is vital that victims have access to free and anonymous support services whenever needed. RAINN provides a safe outlet where victims and their friends and family can go to receive free, live and anonymous support around the clock.

If you would like to make a contribution please visit our Rainnmaker page at http://rainnmakers.rainn.org/JessiehSam , where you will find very simple instructions on how to donate and assist in our efforts to aid those impacted by sexual violence.

This organization means a great deal to us and we hope that you will support our efforts to enable RAINN to help more victims. We also have plans to fundraise on local and global levels by working with community Rape Crisis centers and V-Day: A Global Movement to End Violence Against Women and Girls. We hope you will contribute your financial support and we hope to see you in the spring of 2009. We thank you for your enthusiasm, encouragement and efforts.

In thanks, Jessieh Johnson-Cunningham and Sam Orr

the magic erasers; party of (?)

Jenny is here. I am so happy.
I cannot even express my excitement.
I will be posting pictures of everything soon enough.
The only bad part, the city we are in has these terrible pro-life billboards everywhere and they make the people cringe when we see them.
Adam and Eve surprised me when I arrived with a bicycle that they picked up from the thrift store before I got here and it is beautiful. Jenny brought goodies one of which is an amazing quilt for my room at school with sheep all over it. I slept on the top bunk last night snuggled underneath it. She also brought other wonderful treasures like a Lloyd suitcase, I mean it is so beautiful, the magical hunk of kitty cat goodness painted on to a suitcase. What more could a girl ask for?
I am really glad I am here and my brain is having a hard time sorting things out so that I can somehow write about what good times I am having but this is so difficult because in my brain there is so much happening and we are overwhelmed with all things oriented from "home" and at the same time there is so much happening here that is good like Jenny and I painting a mural for the coffee house which is really difficult because a.) when you stick two dissociative people in a room with a big white wall and say "draw", you should already know it is going to be messy but when b.) the owners of the wall happen to be two people who are incredibly beautiful people with an idea about what the wall should end up being, it makes things messier.
So after much distress and pencil scribbling Jenny and I came up with a plan, stick to all things garden-related (because a French Impressionist painting of two girls in a garden is what Adam and Eve had in mind for the inspiration) and section off a piece of the wall using garden lights and only allow ourselves to draw inside of the section. This is an incredibly brilliant but awareness-provoking experience.
First, there is a bunny on the wall, in the garden next to flowers and while Jenny is resisting her urge to go and draw the intestines on the bunny; I am arguing with her about my need to keep the garden lights a stop sign and traffic light even though I know Adam and Eve will hate my traffic light because it won't make any sense to them and would just look funny and strange and off-key. They came in though, a little after 10pm last night and they seem pleased. I hope they are. Jenny made me erase the stop sign and traffic light and after about an hour of discouragement we found these wonderful devices called Mr.Clean's Magic Erasers.
Please allow us to add that it was when we found the Magic Erasers that everything became all better. On the way home Jenny and I came to a conclusion about these and realized that we really want a huge Magic Eraser for our lives and that is why it was such a mood-lifter when we found them for the dissociative mess we had on the wall. I know that I am not making very much sense because I am simply not thinking clearly about most anything these past few days. I have so much to figure out about my family life (both internal and external), about my education plans, about the play that we've been writing, about how in the world Jenny's going-to-Italy-to-be-with-the-love-of-her-life is going to mess with the systems of thinking, about finding monologues and trying to plan for the Humanities Project and all this jazz and the fourth of the July was yesterday and I was completely reminded of my last fourth of July experience and I was with Jenny then as well and it was beautiful because maybe a day later we were sitting underneath a huge war-monument that read, "FREEDOM IS NOT FREE." We all still feel this way. We hid from fireworks last night and tried not to let them bother us, because we don't want to be horribly emotional or weird or dissociative or PTSD-ed or any of that other stuff that usually accompanies this childhood sexual abuse and rape- aftermath, thing. What a messy messy place. Boy, Oh boy, Mary Poppins, What would we do without faith?

we will write more soon.
love, we the people

PS: The real solution to the painting problem came when someone here said, "I cannot apologize for having all these people living inside of me with different artistic styles, not of which happens to be French Impressionist. I think that will be fine with Adam and Eve."

.ten/notes/of/the/evening.

1. This quote: (Roughly) "Eating disorders are not the real problem-people have much bigger problems and they are taking it out on their food."- Jenny (Artconstellation)
2. Two pairs of blue jeans were purchased on behalf of my body.
3. I AM NOW OFFICIALLY LEAVING FOR MINNESOTA ON JUNE 30TH. (PLEASE SEE COUNTDOWN CLOCK ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE OF THE SCREEN, RIGHT ABOVE THE MUSIC PLAYER THAT SAYS "MUSIC THAT SOUNDS LIKE ANI DIFRANCO". CLICK ON THAT WHILE YOU ARE AT IT.) THE PLANE TICKET HAS BEEN PURCHASED AND WE ARE READY TO GO!
4. I'm working on something special starting tonight.
5. Thanks to a Ginger, I'm not only journaling in the most beautiful handmade journal in the world but I'm also learning (okay, so attempting to learn) how to use a camera and while I don't really know that much I do know that the smaller the number on the f-stop (? probablyscrewedthatup?), the more light that is allowed in.
6. I took a picture a year ago of this orange chair next to a tree on the property of the former state mental hospital. Every week when I would ride by, the orange chair was still their as if someone attended to its being there on a regular basis. Today was the first time I passed by and did not see it. I looked around and there was nothing. Drove another 9 feet, there it was placed facing away from the oak tree it sat under for so long and now every time there is an idle moment of "ohgod,coulditbethatwearenotthinkingfortwosec-NO!"- I hear two things, 1.) "YouareaBADperson." and 2.) "SOMEONE HAS BEEN SITTING IN THAT ORANGE CHAIR." I took another photograph of it today.
7. The above picture was taken on the night of scenes, also the night of the Roe v. Wade performance. Last night Sam (the beautiful creature on the right in the photo above) and I went to Waffle House. We colored together in our new sketchbooks/journals/hash brown-stained napkins. She brought a box of 120 crayons. That was nice and fun. We were re-introduced to a Vietnam Veteran named Ron who has schizophrenia, but spends his time doing handy jobs for local Pentecostal churches. He is very elderly and kind but I am afraid of him. We then traded sketchbooks, only to discover that on JUNE 9th we both wrote the exact same first lines in our sketchbooks and didn't even know it. That was a truly beautiful moment, we just kind of looked at each other and said, "I told you we were soul mates" with our eyes. We then continued on in the experience of waffle housing and discussed things not of an eternal matter. Then the discussion changed and there we were talking about the end of the world again over diet coke and coffee.
8. "They tell me I'm crazy, but you told me I'm Golden." was part of the first lines.
9. Children all over the world are being hurt in unimaginable ways.
10. God is love.

love, jessieh

April is Sexual Violence Awareness Month

Three videos promoting awareness. Please be warned, these videos (especially the third) may prove triggering. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.

For more information please visit the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) at http://www.rainn.org/. If you are a survivor of sexual violence and are seeking assistance contact RAINN's 24 hour, free, confidential Sexual Assault hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE.







love, jessieh

PS: More awareness oriented blogging to come.

137 Children removed from polygamist ranch (while we have shopping troubles.)

The following story made breaking news today while I was out struggling to find shoes for the prom I am dreading in a size 9.5. I have recently decided that not only does the fashion industry have their hearts set on selling skirts with less than 3 inches of fabric to my pubescent sibling but they also have no comprehension of it being one of the many reasons why 1 out of every 4 girls in this country now has an STD. I also realized today that I must lose 30 pounds in order to be able to fit into a a pair of jeans. There was ONE size 12 pair of pants in the ENTIRE store today and the store was not small. They had plenty of sizes 1, 3, 5, 6, 7, and even 9. May I state for the record: WHEN I WAS BARELY 100 POUNDS, THE SMALLEST SIZE I COULD FIT INTO WAS A SIZE 8. A SIZE 8 AT BARELY ONE HUNDRED POUNDS. Needless to say I am a little frustrated with the fashion industry's desire to have my hips and my feet fit into something a size 5, 6, or 7. And what is with cutting out the toe on a pair of pumps. That is just ugly. The average foot is not a pretty one. The average woman's body is not a size 7, it is a size 14. Perhaps the money spent making the piece of crap almost 3 inches of denim to make the horrendous skirts I found everywhere in the teen/junior department could be used to add an extra almost 3 inches to the waist of some of those could-be useful blue jeans-

but what am I complaining for; at least we have the ability to buy a pair of blue jeans. Things could be much worse.

Meanwhile, while I am griping about not being able to find a pair of shoes:

ELDORADO, Texas (CNN) -- Dozens more children and young women were removed Saturday from a Texas ranch that is home to members of a polygamist sect, as state workers investigated claims of physical and sexual abuse.

A total of 183 people -- including 137 children -- have been taken away since law enforcement officers raided the compound Thursday night, said Marleigh Meisner, a spokeswoman for the Texas Child Protective Services Division. The children -- most of them girls -- were being interviewed by special investigators, she said.
"We're trying to find out if they're safe," she explained. "We need to know if they have been abused or neglected." Eighteen of the girls have been taken into state custody. Authorities believe that they "had been abused or were at immediate risk of future abuse," said Child Protective Services spokesman Darrell Azar. The others were taken to a nearby civic center. Meisner described them as doing "remarkably well."

Read more about it Here.

love, jessieh

PS: I will write more soon.

Disney and 20/20 send mixed message regarding protection of children

From a featured article:
"On March 14, 2008, ABC's 20/20, a Disney owned company, aired a show challenging age of consent laws. To the dismay and shock of child advocates and Anti-pedophile bloggers and writers (a term coined for those who expose online sex offenders, predators and pedophiles), it was disproportionately favorable to the plight of sex offenders. The show featured a segment called "Vigilante Justice" in which they interviewed a child advocate who goes by the name "Petra Luna". The child advocate was clearly shown to be the antagonist as opposed to the sex offender(s), who were presented as the protagonists and victims.

Credible child advocates (as opposed to registered sex offenders claiming to be child advocates, whose offenses range from molesting preschoolers to teenagers) are gravely disappointed in the position ABC's 20/20 decided to take. Even more disappointing is the fact that ABC is owned by Disney. Parents might be caught off guard and falsely assume that Disney would take a more child centered position on sexual abuse.

While many reasonable people might support the pretense of 20/20's questioning Romeo and Juliet laws, which are "offenses" that often refer to younger teens "hooking up" with older teens or offenses with minimal age gaps, the show was surprisingly sympathetic to the sex offender, especially in their "Vigilante Justice" segment. Speaking on behalf of many child advocates and parents, we believe 20/20 mislead viewers by portraying the United States National Sex Offender Registry as made up of a significant amount of Romeo and Juliet affairs by conjecture only."

Watch for yourself:



I will post commentary to this segment of the show soon.

love, jessieh

The head pounds. One of those not-here posts.

For some reason today I cannot stop thinking about the Humanities Project.

The beautiful Sam and I are partnering up for this as well. The Roe v. Wade Project has been really wonderful working with her and I am so glad she decided to work with me for all of next year as well. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my role as a survivor of sexual violence in the project. The project's focus is sexual violence awareness through the arts. I often wonder how I would fit in the project if it were not a "personal" thing to me. It's personal for Sam too, personal in different ways. I'm sure I would have the same amounts of compassion and I'm sure my drive to see the end of sexual violence would be the same. I'm not making sense. I received a copy of Ellen Bass and Laura Davis' The Courage to Heal Friday in the mail. We are using it as a resource for the project but I've done some personal interest reading as well.

Sam and I have so much work to do this week for the Roe v. Wade Project. While it is incredibly exciting, it also has a certain level of expectation and stress involved.

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed and am very relieved to know that I do not have school next week. It is going to be nice, to have time to breathe and think and practice and think and write and memorize and read.

The throat hurts, allergies.

Church this morning was beautiful.

Secret # 2, 158, 924:

Whenever I see women outside of abortion clinics with scary pro-life signs, I imagine someone from across the street calling the fire department and I imagine their pro-life signs being sprayed violently. I consider myself a fairly peaceful person and when I see women trying to betray their very right to choose with disturbing anti-choice signs, I want to throw something harmless but irritating at them, give them a pie in the face.

love, jessieh

An update from the speakers after all this time.

An update from the speakers:

It has been quite some time since I have actually taken the time to write. Now it seems as though I haven't any idea what to write. Life has been incredibly busy. I am in a scene from James McLure's Laundry and Bourbon, Ms. Hepburn in one of my scene partners, which is exciting. We do not feel that we have really been able to perform the escence of the scene yet and this is disapointing. I dissapoint myself often. The self-esteem is at an alltime low. Thankfully, after over a year of psychotherapy I am able to cope with this more effectively. I can't imagine how many scars there would be on the stomach this year, or how many operations I would have had performed on the esophagus. Self-mutilation and purging are not two examples of healthy coping skills. Every day, I want to throw up my food. By Grace, we do not. School is going by very very fast. really starting to enjoy the modern dance class, pulled the chemistry grade up, failed the last english test, learning to take more and more risks in acting, I am started to feel things, in life and onstage and this excites me. I want more than anything to be able to connect with people and ideas in a way that I haven't been able to before. I also hope to continue organizing things in a way that will allow me to learn so much about the world around me.

This holiday season has been incredibly painful. Most days I spend talking to myself and reminded myself of who I am, and where I am, and what is going on around me. I lose time alot. I forget things often. I spend time in another world, a better place many days and I don't know what happens when I am away there. This is part of living during Christmas. I am fearful that I will not get to spend time with the people I love this year for some horrific reason, yet the logical, the most logical part of my mind that exists tells me that I will.

I am grateful for the love in my life. I am thankful for the life I have and I am sad, very sad everyday.

love, jessieh

"We are the green leaves on December trees."

-Ms.Hepburn, Jessieh, Mary, and Ana

Donation of the Uterus (and other parts)

love, jessieh

Before 2AM. No memory.

and we almost ran that red light back there. She tapped her fingers to the music and without pause, slammed her hand, flat, into the power button of the radio, 'ya know," she laughed, "The doctor made a great point, this isn't going to be hard, well not as hard as we think.' I laugh, and know at the same time that it is not funny. "Oh, really?" I ask.

"We have so much rage. Rage is energy.Can you imagine what I could do with this rage? With this rage I could build buildings by myself, I could stay up for months. With this rage, I could burn a whole country."

love, jessieh

{PS: After she saw it she said, "I like the doggy." and I laughed, still not funny.}

The good news: 700 pedophiles arrested.

BREAKING NEWS

Updated: 18 minutes ago

LONDON - Police shattered a global Internet pedophile ring, rescuing 31 children and rounding up more than 700 suspects worldwide, British authorities said Monday.

Some 200 suspects are based in Britain, the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Center said. The ring was traced to an Internet chat room called “Kids the Light of Our Lives” that featured images of children being subjected to horrific sexual abuse.

The investigation involves agencies from 35 countries and lasted 10 months.The host of the Web site, Timothy David Martyn Cox, 27, of Buxhall, who used the online identity “Son of God,” admitted to nine counts of possessing and distributing indecent images, authorities said.After his arrest in September, authorities were able to infiltrate the chat room and collect evidence on the other members.

Please check back for more details on this developing story.© 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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(Whoops. Jessieh broke the rules.)

I got this from MSNBC.

and when I read it, I felt better. 31 children saved, only about 19,797,895 left to go.

love, jessieh

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v

(and these)

After Rape

love, jessieh

PS: Anne Frank would have turned 78 today. It seems as though she would have been much older, it's funny how it always seems that way.

and yes I do know

there is alot to look at.