manic monday continued...

This is the daily life page for Jessieh Speaks.

A lifetime movie plays in the other room.
I'm somehow working on a review for Biology, watching "The Other Woman" (which surprisingly is not about an adulterer) and blogging at the same time...
Multi-tasking or ADD? You choose.
I'm waiting for Blind Injustice to come on at 8pm EST. I love lifetime movies. Some of them.
Blind Injustice is about a blind woman who is attacked and raped in her home and then gets even with the monster who violated her. It is sure to be a lovely film.
Today, has been a rough day. Long day. Another Monday.
I've been in a pretty crappy mood the past few days. Not really sure what that relates to.
I've been analyzing it.
Perhaps it's the holidays. Christmas is an emotionally triggering time of year for me. Perhaps is hormones. Perhaps it the fact that I have intimacy issues and I feel like my best friends in the whole world don't love me, even though I logically know they do...
It could be any of these things. or a combination of the three.
This is how the day went: and it is oh so very interesting.

At home: Woke up too early. went back to sleep. Woke up again. Answered phone, it was Grandeddy. Took shower. Got dressed. Went outside to wait on my ride with a damp head.

On the way to school: Called Grandeddy back. Listened to the twins discuss how bad they feel about their friend Dallas' dog having to be put to sleep. I was trying to be sympathetic. It wasn't working. I complained about Taylor not answering the phone all day yesterday and wanted to know if it was personal. That's productive. As we pulled up at school, Savannah and I went inside because Taylor was talking privately with Mere... I was irritated because I have this selfish fear that when people talk privately they are talking about me. Almost cried over something so simple.

1st block: more presentations on deviant behavior, and review for a quiz tomorrow on population and economy.
2nd block: newspaper. i took pictures (see below)... and finished my lab for biology.
3rd block: French. I learned the verb: mettre. Je mets, Tu mets, Il/Elle/On met, Nous metton, Vous mettez, Elles mettent... For the french scholars, I hope I spelled all of that that correctly.. If not, I apologize. Desole. Got dizzy because of the Christmas lights decorating Ms. Tucker's board. Wanted to scream.
4th block: Biology. Need I say more?

On the way home: I told Mere and Taylor how crappy I've been feeling. Tried to tune out the Christmas music in the background. Listened to how bad everyone felt that Dallas had to have her dog put to sleep. Savannah called Dallas to see "how she was holding up", Taylor did her Algebra homework against her will, Mere told Dallas how sorry she was about Crane (the dog) and almost started crying. It's sweet really... I wish I could have so much compassion for someone whose dog died. I'm the one who needs to find some empathy, sympathy, some pathy... something. I've got it for abused children, people dying of cancer, a woman whose husband just left her for someone half her age, the prostitutes on two notch road, and I even have feelings for or about the elderly lady I visited last night... I need to find something inside me for Crane. We picked up Jordan, the girls told him about their plans to make "In Memory" Tshirts for Dallas. Dropped me off.
"Bye Jessieh". Bye.
Checked mail. Received an upcoming Programs guide from the Governor's School.
Almost called Taylor to say something. I don't know what I would have said, but I resisted.
Turned on TV. Ate left over chicken. Diet coke. Sweet blessings.
Started on Biology review and later came in here to update...

love, jessieh