Showing posts with label artconstellation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label artconstellation. Show all posts
7.22.2009
7.23.2008
A note from my soon-to-be-Italian favorite:
The following is from my artsy-constellation:
Multiple personality disorder with a cherry on top.
I am sure that moving to a new country is challenging for most people. I think that taking two cats and having a divided mind escalates that challenge. The cat part is actually under control and as Stefano wrote in an email to me tonight, "I am so glad that you got all the forms signed so that Lloyd and Winston are ready for becoming Italian citizens." :-) So that part seems easy now compared to the whole "I-have-different-ways-of-thinking-and-those-ways-of-thinking-are-usually-not-on-the-same-page" issue. This is where the real difficulty is.
Here is a snap-second inside my head: "My to-do list seems too long.", "All of the important things have been done and now I am really just worrying while I wait- there is not much left to do.", "What if Stefano becomes overwhelmed by how much therapy work I have to do still and can not tolerate me?", "Which pants should I wear on the plane?", "Will I be able to get poultry flavored cat toothpaste in Italy?", "Is cat toothpaste more expensive in Italy?", "Why did my high school guidance counselor not inform my mother when I showed her the burns from where I was putting cigarettes out on my legs?", "I will be able to hug and kiss Stefano in less than one million seconds.", "Should I grab a box of yellow cake mix and take it with me so I can introduce Stefano to the joy of Betty Crocker on his birthday or should I make him a fruit pie instead?".
I am going to take my anti-anxiety medicine now and try to calm down. While I wait for the medicine to start working I will go back to work on the drawing I started earlier tonight.... an image of the head of Medusa.
Perfect.
---
love, jessieh
Multiple personality disorder with a cherry on top.
I am sure that moving to a new country is challenging for most people. I think that taking two cats and having a divided mind escalates that challenge. The cat part is actually under control and as Stefano wrote in an email to me tonight, "I am so glad that you got all the forms signed so that Lloyd and Winston are ready for becoming Italian citizens." :-) So that part seems easy now compared to the whole "I-have-different-ways-of-thinking-and-those-ways-of-thinking-are-usually-not-on-the-same-page" issue. This is where the real difficulty is.
Here is a snap-second inside my head: "My to-do list seems too long.", "All of the important things have been done and now I am really just worrying while I wait- there is not much left to do.", "What if Stefano becomes overwhelmed by how much therapy work I have to do still and can not tolerate me?", "Which pants should I wear on the plane?", "Will I be able to get poultry flavored cat toothpaste in Italy?", "Is cat toothpaste more expensive in Italy?", "Why did my high school guidance counselor not inform my mother when I showed her the burns from where I was putting cigarettes out on my legs?", "I will be able to hug and kiss Stefano in less than one million seconds.", "Should I grab a box of yellow cake mix and take it with me so I can introduce Stefano to the joy of Betty Crocker on his birthday or should I make him a fruit pie instead?".
I am going to take my anti-anxiety medicine now and try to calm down. While I wait for the medicine to start working I will go back to work on the drawing I started earlier tonight.... an image of the head of Medusa.
Perfect.
---
love, jessieh
6.14.2008
Anewsrant & A Artconstellation
First.
Jenny (Artconstellation) did something beautiful in honor of the soon-coming father's day. Okay, she didn't (to my knowledge) set out to do this as a father's day thing, but it so appropriately fell in place that it was hard to notice and when someone does something that is so incredible- I think it needs to be talked about. I love Jenny but that is not exactly why I am writing. I am writing because the idea of what she did is really big in my brain and it is hardtoholdontofortoolong or I want to crawl somewhere and make myself go to bed.
She made a business card, you know those really inexpensive order-online business cards advertising her work and her blog and herself as person(hood). Okay, wait, back up- in order for this to make sense I should introduce Jenny. She is a very big superhero of mine. The following information can be found on her blog but this is a little summary: She is a survivor of seventeen years of horrific sexual abuse. Her father was her abuser, this of course, is one of many reasons why father's day is not exactly the best of days for her. She is also an artist, who is about to move to Italy to marry the love of her life and continue her art career.
But the really-big-deal-happy thing that we are writing about is this:
The Incredible poet Sharon Olds wrote a poem called I go back to May 1937. The last lines are "I say Do what you are going to do, and I will tell about it." Instead of clinging to that safe place of non-motivating, yet really really expressive and healthy anger- Jenny is doing something more. She is telling about it. About her experience as an artist, about her experience as a woman trying to cope with 17 years (please take a moment and realize this is how long I have been alive) of terror, while living with other inner people, and managing to somehow stay intact enough to impact others and encourage and brighten and try to move her two cats to Italy, so that she can get married (which if you haven't seen the statistics about marriage and sexual abuse and DID, you should look into it), and promote awareness and kindness and an END TO WORLD GONE WRONGNESS. This is the woman we are talking about. This year for father's day, she is going to be telling about it. Before she leaves for Italy she will be making a trip to another part of the US and her cards will be going with her, they will be left in every public (and private) place she encounters. Then, she is off to Italy where her cards will be spread throughout another country and each one labels her as an artist, a writer, and a sexual abuse survivor. Imagine all of the people that will encounter this statement of
"Yes this horrible horribleness happened
and Yes I am telling about it
and Yes there is something we can all do to end this sickness
and Yes you are not alone. "
I am in awe of her strength and I am so excited for what is to come.
A picture of the business card can be found here. (It wouldn't load on my blog for some odd reason. I will try again soon.)
Second.
The news reporter for the local news just said, "A local pastor is accused of the unthinkable with a child". The "unthinkable" that was being referenced is the sexual molestation of a teenager. While I AM COMPLETELY GRATEFUL that the media is actually covering it and not minimizing the severe nature of the crime, I realizeWE REALLY DO HAVE A HUGE HUGE PROBLEM WITH DENIAL AND NOT LOOKING AT REALITY IN THIS COUNTRY IF THE "UNTHINKABLE" is a teenager being molested. This is not unthinkable, this (being SEXUAL VIOLENCE) is happening every single moment of every single day. 1 out of every 3 girls will be the victim of attempted or completed sexual violence before she turns 18. This is not unthinkable. I've been reading/writing/drawing/trying to forget/hearing/living/dealing/coping with/THINKING about it for a LONG LONG TIME.
love, jessieh
PS: Anne Frank would have turned 79 yesterday. In case we didn't already say that.
5.28.2008
making it home safely & parole board to release serial rapist
We made it "home" safely. It is so odd coming back for the summer. I had literally forgotten the amount of disfunction that exists in my family, I had somehow just avoided it (but that is easy to do when you live away at school with limited contact). I've been drawing more and more in my sketchbook. Only 13 pages to go and it will be complete. I'm excited. I've been reading Anne Heche's memoir. While the writing is not nessecarily impressive, she does offer an interesting look on incest, sexual abuse, cult-nature and religious affiliation. The church Anne Heche grew up in sounds alot like the church I grew up in. Which at times, when read properly, can sound very very alarming. I start transcription review on June 2nd. Jenny made it back to the US, safely. Oh, by the way, if you are ever wondering who she is when I make reference to her: This is my dear friend (and I ). But for now, I must scramble, clean up the the kitchen, brush my teeth, get ready for the day's events.
---
Childhood rape victim Tiffany Edens has no confidence in the Oregon parole board.
To her dismay, Edens had to sue the board to block the planned release of Richard Troy Gillmore — the notorious "jogger rapist" who committed at least nine sexual assaults in the Portland area in the 1970s and '80s.
"It's been a frustrating battle," she said in a recent interview. "It's been very wearing on me and my family. I think it's very unfair and very unfortunate that victims have to be revictimized years later by the institution that is supposed to protect them."
Gillmore's case has become a rallying cry for parole board critics, who say it demonstrated poor judgment about a sexual predator and shabby treatment of a rape victim.
"This guy is one of the worst rapists in the Oregon prison system," said Steve Doell, president of Oregon Crime Victims United. "God only knows what they were thinking in approving his release."
In the wake of Edens' lawsuit and a rebuke from a Marion County judge, the parole board agreed to reconsider Gillmore's case at a yet-to-be-scheduled hearing.
"It's been a true disappointment to see the parole board take the course of action that they have, although I think they've tried to rectify it now through the advice of counsel with this next hearing," said Russ Ratto, a senior deputy district attorney in Multnomah County who sued the board on behalf of Edens.
Edens clings to hope that the three-member panel will reach a different decision this time.
"He is a predator, he belongs in prison," she said. "He played normal and here he was a serial rapist, raping several women in his neighborhood."
Edens was 13 when Gillmore broke into her family's Portland-area home on the evening of Dec. 5, 1986. He threatened to kill the terrified girl, then raped her.
The Statesman Journal normally does not identify victims of sexual crimes. Edens asked to be identified by her maiden name. "I want other victims to feel that they can step forward, that they don't have to be held down," she said.
Now 35, Edens is married, the mother of three children and still lives in the Portland area. She is a blunt critic of the parole board, calling it "desensitized" to the plight of people whose lives have been ripped apart by violent criminals.
Between 1979 and 1981, Gillmore terrorized southeast Portland by committing a series of rapes. At that time, the then-unidentified rapist was known as the "jogger rapist" because he stalked his victims while he was jogging. After being arrested for raping Edens, Gillmore admitted to eight attacks linked to the "jogger rapist." He wasn't prosecuted for those rapes because they were too old under Oregon's then-applicable three-year statute of limitations.
A Multnomah County judge found Gillmore guilty of rape, burglary and two counts of sexual abuse in the Edens case in October 1987. The judge found Gillmore to be a sexually dangerous offender and sentenced him to 30 years in prison for the rape and burglary counts, with a 15-year minimum on each count.
The sentences were to run consecutively, meaning Gillmore had a 60-year sentence with a 30-year minimum.
In 1988, only a year after Gillmore was convicted, the parole board overrode one of his 15-year sentences. That made him eligible for parole in 2001.
The parole board nixed Gillmore's requests for release in 2001, 2003 and 2005. In September, it green-lighted him for parole. Edens said she learned about the board's release decision from her mother, who happened to check on Gillmore's status.
The notion of the serial rapist being back on the streets hit her like a lightning bolt, Edens said. Outraged, she and other family members contacted the parole board and "begged and pleaded" for a chance to testify. The board agreed to a rehearing in October.
In a hearing room at the Oregon State Correctional Institution in Salem, Edens faced the man who raped her when she was a junior high school student.
"That was really hard for me," she recounted. "It's like revisiting a nightmare. It was very surreal to see him after 21 years."
Edens urged the board to keep Gillmore incarcerated.
"To have raped so many women is a travesty," she testified. "But Richard Troy Gillmore only serving less than a third of his sentence for only one of the violent rapes he committed is an injustice to me and the seven other victims."
Multnomah County prosecutor Ratto also testified. He told the board that Gillmore would be "a monster on the loose" if let back into the community.
In his testimony, Gillmore described himself as rehabilitated. He wiped away tears when he apologized to Edens.
After the hearing, board members huddled behind closed doors — standard procedure — to discuss the case and reach a decision. After 45 minutes, the board returned to announce the verdict: Gillmore remained "a danger to the health or safety of others," but he "can be adequately controlled with supervision and mental health treatment which are available in the community."
The board set his release date for Dec. 18.
Edens dropped her head to the hearing room table and sobbed.
Even now, she can't understand why the board chose to let Gillmore out. She cited a psychological evaluation of him by Frank Colistro, a veteran forensic psychologist who concluded in a June report that Gillmore continues to "suffer from a severe personality disorder, one not amenable to community-based treatment or supervision."
"I couldn't believe that three professionals were taking a convicted serial rapist's word against an educated doctor's evaluation," Edens said. "I thought that was just asinine. They don't seem to understand who he is. He's one of these really sophisticated criminals, very manipulative, very sociopathic. He's a chameleon who can meld himself into whatever he needs to be so he can get what he wants."
To stop Gillmore's release, Edens and the Multnomah County district attorney's office sued the parole board late last year.
In January, Marion County Circuit Judge Paul Lipscomb blocked Gillmore's release pending a new parole-consideration hearing. He ruled that the board committed several procedural errors, including failing to give Edens proper notice about hearings and failing to provide a full written explanation of its decision to free Gillmore, despite finding that he was still dangerous.
It was a gratifying victory for Edens.
"That was really empowering for me and my family to have Judge Lipscomb really take the facts in, take his time and really make a good statement," she said.
Lipscomb said he lacked authority under Oregon law to reverse "any ill-advised or mistaken release decision" by the parole board. However, the judge added that he felt compelled to express concerns about the board's decision to free the rapist, noting that "the only available expert evidence documents that Gillmore is even more dangerous and less amenable to be safely managed in the community than he appeared in 2001, 2003, 2005 and in April of 2007."
After the judge's rebuke, parole officials defended the decision to release Gillmore in a written statement: "In deciding that Mr. Gillmore could be adequately supervised in the community, the board considered Mr. Gillmore's long record of positive prison conduct and responsible work history, the many classes and treatment programs he has successfully completed, as well as his understanding of his past criminal behavior."
The parole board could have appealed Lipscomb's ruling. Instead, the board ended the legal fight by agreeing to hold a new hearing. Plans call for Gillmore to be examined by two more psychologists prior to the hearing.
Awaiting the next round in her battle to keep Gillmore behind bars, Edens said she's eager to testify against him again.
However, she lacks faith in the board members who will decide his fate.
"I think a used car salesman could read a human being better than these three," she said.
agustafs@StatesmanJournal.com or (503) 399-6709
"It's been a frustrating battle," she said in a recent interview. "It's been very wearing on me and my family. I think it's very unfair and very unfortunate that victims have to be revictimized years later by the institution that is supposed to protect them."
Gillmore's case has become a rallying cry for parole board critics, who say it demonstrated poor judgment about a sexual predator and shabby treatment of a rape victim.
"This guy is one of the worst rapists in the Oregon prison system," said Steve Doell, president of Oregon Crime Victims United. "God only knows what they were thinking in approving his release."
In the wake of Edens' lawsuit and a rebuke from a Marion County judge, the parole board agreed to reconsider Gillmore's case at a yet-to-be-scheduled hearing.
"It's been a true disappointment to see the parole board take the course of action that they have, although I think they've tried to rectify it now through the advice of counsel with this next hearing," said Russ Ratto, a senior deputy district attorney in Multnomah County who sued the board on behalf of Edens.
Edens clings to hope that the three-member panel will reach a different decision this time.
"He is a predator, he belongs in prison," she said. "He played normal and here he was a serial rapist, raping several women in his neighborhood."
Edens was 13 when Gillmore broke into her family's Portland-area home on the evening of Dec. 5, 1986. He threatened to kill the terrified girl, then raped her.
The Statesman Journal normally does not identify victims of sexual crimes. Edens asked to be identified by her maiden name. "I want other victims to feel that they can step forward, that they don't have to be held down," she said.
Now 35, Edens is married, the mother of three children and still lives in the Portland area. She is a blunt critic of the parole board, calling it "desensitized" to the plight of people whose lives have been ripped apart by violent criminals.
Between 1979 and 1981, Gillmore terrorized southeast Portland by committing a series of rapes. At that time, the then-unidentified rapist was known as the "jogger rapist" because he stalked his victims while he was jogging. After being arrested for raping Edens, Gillmore admitted to eight attacks linked to the "jogger rapist." He wasn't prosecuted for those rapes because they were too old under Oregon's then-applicable three-year statute of limitations.
A Multnomah County judge found Gillmore guilty of rape, burglary and two counts of sexual abuse in the Edens case in October 1987. The judge found Gillmore to be a sexually dangerous offender and sentenced him to 30 years in prison for the rape and burglary counts, with a 15-year minimum on each count.
The sentences were to run consecutively, meaning Gillmore had a 60-year sentence with a 30-year minimum.
In 1988, only a year after Gillmore was convicted, the parole board overrode one of his 15-year sentences. That made him eligible for parole in 2001.
The parole board nixed Gillmore's requests for release in 2001, 2003 and 2005. In September, it green-lighted him for parole. Edens said she learned about the board's release decision from her mother, who happened to check on Gillmore's status.
The notion of the serial rapist being back on the streets hit her like a lightning bolt, Edens said. Outraged, she and other family members contacted the parole board and "begged and pleaded" for a chance to testify. The board agreed to a rehearing in October.
In a hearing room at the Oregon State Correctional Institution in Salem, Edens faced the man who raped her when she was a junior high school student.
"That was really hard for me," she recounted. "It's like revisiting a nightmare. It was very surreal to see him after 21 years."
Edens urged the board to keep Gillmore incarcerated.
"To have raped so many women is a travesty," she testified. "But Richard Troy Gillmore only serving less than a third of his sentence for only one of the violent rapes he committed is an injustice to me and the seven other victims."
Multnomah County prosecutor Ratto also testified. He told the board that Gillmore would be "a monster on the loose" if let back into the community.
In his testimony, Gillmore described himself as rehabilitated. He wiped away tears when he apologized to Edens.
After the hearing, board members huddled behind closed doors — standard procedure — to discuss the case and reach a decision. After 45 minutes, the board returned to announce the verdict: Gillmore remained "a danger to the health or safety of others," but he "can be adequately controlled with supervision and mental health treatment which are available in the community."
The board set his release date for Dec. 18.
Edens dropped her head to the hearing room table and sobbed.
Even now, she can't understand why the board chose to let Gillmore out. She cited a psychological evaluation of him by Frank Colistro, a veteran forensic psychologist who concluded in a June report that Gillmore continues to "suffer from a severe personality disorder, one not amenable to community-based treatment or supervision."
"I couldn't believe that three professionals were taking a convicted serial rapist's word against an educated doctor's evaluation," Edens said. "I thought that was just asinine. They don't seem to understand who he is. He's one of these really sophisticated criminals, very manipulative, very sociopathic. He's a chameleon who can meld himself into whatever he needs to be so he can get what he wants."
To stop Gillmore's release, Edens and the Multnomah County district attorney's office sued the parole board late last year.
In January, Marion County Circuit Judge Paul Lipscomb blocked Gillmore's release pending a new parole-consideration hearing. He ruled that the board committed several procedural errors, including failing to give Edens proper notice about hearings and failing to provide a full written explanation of its decision to free Gillmore, despite finding that he was still dangerous.
It was a gratifying victory for Edens.
"That was really empowering for me and my family to have Judge Lipscomb really take the facts in, take his time and really make a good statement," she said.
Lipscomb said he lacked authority under Oregon law to reverse "any ill-advised or mistaken release decision" by the parole board. However, the judge added that he felt compelled to express concerns about the board's decision to free the rapist, noting that "the only available expert evidence documents that Gillmore is even more dangerous and less amenable to be safely managed in the community than he appeared in 2001, 2003, 2005 and in April of 2007."
After the judge's rebuke, parole officials defended the decision to release Gillmore in a written statement: "In deciding that Mr. Gillmore could be adequately supervised in the community, the board considered Mr. Gillmore's long record of positive prison conduct and responsible work history, the many classes and treatment programs he has successfully completed, as well as his understanding of his past criminal behavior."
The parole board could have appealed Lipscomb's ruling. Instead, the board ended the legal fight by agreeing to hold a new hearing. Plans call for Gillmore to be examined by two more psychologists prior to the hearing.
Awaiting the next round in her battle to keep Gillmore behind bars, Edens said she's eager to testify against him again.
However, she lacks faith in the board members who will decide his fate.
"I think a used car salesman could read a human being better than these three," she said.
agustafs@StatesmanJournal.com or (503) 399-6709
---
I don't have anything to say about this right now. I am severely disgusted. It does not make sense, not human, logical sense. I think it is important to look at the other news coverage of this, where is it? Releasing a serial rapist back into society sounds like important news to me.
love, jessieh
2.28.2008
Artconstellation
You need to visit one of the best blogs in the world.
http://www.artconstellation.blogspot.com
because the writer is of more than super-hero status and we love her.
love, jessieh
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