Yes. I'm scared. What's new?

In about a month, I leave for school.

I'm just now becoming really anxious.

I've been having interesting dreams about

a.) me being the fattest person there.

b.) me waking up in the middle of the stage at school and not knowing what I'm doing there. That's frightening.

c.) being asked to leave because I'm not good enough.

I am freaking out.

I haven't done so many things and I keep thinking that I have more time than I do but I don't.

I haven't even purchased all of my required reading.

I'm not in shape.

We haven't started thinking about the things I will need for my dorm. Meanwhile Ms.Hepburn and her mother are out shopping, arguing about what she won't be needing.

It's just now setting in that I won't be seeing my twins and this terrifies me. I am so afraid.

and on top of all of this, I'm still concerned that I will stop eating because the pressure to be thinner will weigh me down to starvation mode. I'm also worried that I am going to have a nervous breakdown.

I'm scared.

The end.

love, jessieh