The Good and Bad
1. Jesus loves everyone.
2. I am in Columbia now. Away from school and while the break is refreshing, I see time as a big thing that frightens me. I don't know what to do with myself. I am still so tired and I find it hard to sit still.
3. I miss my roommate, Sam.
4. Patrick is coming to visit the family January 3-5. Granny is going to make him chicken and cheese croissants with cream and chicken soup. He will enjoy it, I'm sure.
5. Tonight, we are attending a Christmas festivity at my uncles house.
6. I wish I could attend church tonight with the twins but my guilt over not being at my uncle's house and the attitudes of accusing selfishness would be too bothersome. I surrender.
7. I spent last night with my twins and it was incredible. The eyes were holding tears back. I will spend Christmas day with them which is exciting.
8. Anxiety plagues me.
9. Star Dust is a fun movie.
10. I'd like to sleep for a long long long long time but feel unable.
11. Christmas hurts.
12. Jenny, I love you.
13. I am so blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.
14. Lucy, oh Lucy? Where art thou angel of Chicora Lucy?
15. My stomach hurts and I feel fat. Obese, really.
16. There is a sadness here, in this list.
17. I'd like to burn the fiberoptic Christmas Tree in my grandmother's living room.
18. She has wooden floors now.
19. We draw a lot.
20. Evaluations went well at school. They didn't make me cry until the very end and the tears were happy tears.
21. The combination of relatively high-IQ, high levels of emotional sensitivity, being aware, and a history of chronic sexual abuse, rape = a young woman in need of a low quantity of Prozac and some sleeping pills.
22. Reading the book, The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. I've been crying since page seven.
23. I have yet to purchase Christmas gifts for anyone other than my Acting Instructors.
24. Someone said a broken heart would sting at first then make you stronger- whoever said that, they lied. It isn't the brokenness that makes you strong, it is the sting.
25. You need to visit Dooce.com.
26. Sharon Olds' poetry soothes the heart and reassures the brain.
27. My grandfather hasn't spoken to me in two weeks.
28. Thank you Vivian, Diane, S., Jenny, Angela, Brenda, K.F. and Amy. I love you.
29. Thank you Taylor, Savannah, Jordan, and Jordan. I love you.
30. Thank you Mere and Sigmund. I love you.
31. "Live or die but don't ruin everything." -Anne Sexton
32. I wish you well on the way to the wishing well.
33. The stomach hurts.
34. Never refuse homemade lemonade.
35. Donate a coat this season.
36. If you need a calender, please purchase this one: The Artconstellation Calendar
37. "May you dream you are dreaming in a warm soft bed, and may the voices inside you that fill you with dread make the sound of thousands of angels instead, tonight where you might be laying your head..." -Patty Griffin
38. We are tired. The image at the top of the page is a Mark Manders drawing and at the bottom a photograph by Chpaquette.
39. I have 9 missed calls on my cell phone.
40. Ms. Hepburn, we love you.
41. Yard Guy called yesterday and asked if I would spend time with him today, I said yes. He said he would call. He never did. I have been stood-up for the past 13 years of my life. That's disgusting.
42. I want to attend Julliard or Wellesley College.
43. I have yet to take the SAT.
44. The events from that night have no chronological order.
45. Merry Christmas.
46. Happy Holidays.
love, jessieh
2 comments:
Agnes misses you, Marilyn.
We miss Agnes.
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